Tomorrow is Monday which means back to school mode again... I have two tests. Sigh.
Last Friday was Matt Butler's funeral. I met Matt back in middle school and graduated high school with him. Late Sunday night/early Monday morning, I found out that he passed away a few hours before. He got shot and honestly, it came as a surprise to me and I wondered how and why that happened... We were never close friends and we would only talk in the classes that we had. I remembered him as a silly, fun guy and he always had that Matt smile. He was always so upbeat and positive whenever I was around him... The next morning, I read in the news that they found him in his car with multiple gun shots. Some kids planned to rob him of his marijuana (because he sold a little bit) and when he fought those kids back, they shot him. They murdered a guy for $50 worth of marijuana, seriously?! When I found out, it made me so angry and frustrated. I can't believe these people. Antioch used to be a nice suburban town. When I moved here 10 years ago, the nice part of Antioch were VERY nice... the houses grew to cost more than a million, and then it all went downhill. People from Oakland and Richmond started moving in and crime rates went up. You can't even bike or walk outside without the fear of getting jumped or robbed. It sucks. I fear for the safety of my family & friends. I know these kinds of things happen everywhere, but I'm pretty sure that some places have lower crime rates than this town. You hear all these stories about violence but when it happens to someone you know, it really is different. Anyway. The comments people made about Matt's news article pissed me off even more. It's so upsetting. I know that my friends' parents also made comments saying that "I feel no sympathy for that kid that died, he got himself into that mess and he got shot for it. His fault." Some people are so fucking narrow minded. It's true that if Matt didn't sell, he wouldn't have been involved in this mess.. but for people to say that they have no sympathy for him and he deserved it? What the hell? He made a mistake but it does not mean that he deserved to die, he did not deserve to lose his life because of some greedy wanna be gangsters. No one deserves to get murdered... Those kids had planned to steal, to murder, and Matt would never go out to kill. He went to school, had goals, and worked the 4:00AM shift at Starbucks, doesn't that say that he at least worked and wasn't like those low-life bastards that planned to get something for free? I also hate how they call him a drug dealer. Although he sold (and however small it was), it still makes him one but honestly I don't see him as that. I'll never remember him as that. When some people read the word marijuana in the news, they freak out and see it as a really bad thing. Just because he smoked (or anyone) doesn't mean they should die and go to hell for it. Yeah, it's illegal... so is underage drinking, by why is underage drinking more acceptable to society than smoking weed? Think whatever you want to think-- if you think that weed is a harmful drug then do so.. whatever. Cigarettes are too, they're legal. Alcohol ruins your body, they're legal. Some of the people I know smoke and although I'm not a big fan of it, I'm not gonna judge them and label them a bad person... if I ever dislike them, it would be because of some other reason. When people smoke and drink all the time, sit in their ass all day, and have no future goals... yeah, I think it's pathetic. Go do something with your life. Anyway, sorry for the rant. They are just my opinion, if yours are different, great. This whole thing just got me thinking. I went to the candle lit memorial at Williamson Ranch Park a few hours after Matt died. There were about 300 people that paid their respects... damn, it was really really sad. I couldn't stop thinking about it all week. It was nice to hear stories told about him during the funeral, there were a lot of people... his manager spoke, people from Starbucks that he made coffee for went, his best friends... I mostly hurt for his family and close friends. It's just really sad how his family have to deal with what people are saying and everything. It's true... the order of life, it's not supposed to be parents or grandparents burying their children. When you're 19, you're supposed to be worrying about starting your career, doing fun shit, wondering who you'll fall in love with, wondering when you will start a family, growing old, etc... not dead. I don't think that anything can ever replace that loss. If I picture myself in that situation, I don't know what I would do. I'd just die. At the funeral, it was really apparent that he made an impact in the lives of those who knew him, he really won't be forgotten. Matt is in a better place now, rest in peace.
1. Matt & I during halloween, sophomore year | 2/3. Susan, Higgs, and Matt... the summer of either sophomore or junior year
4. Memorial | 5. Pamphlet